At the beginning of this year I was excited about many of the speaking engagements I had planned for the release of my book, A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. This summer, I was scheduled to speak at several conferences, most of which were genealogy and family history related , along with two DNA workshops. I also had several book clubs I was scheduled to speak at. But by March of this year, things began to take a nasty turn for the worse because of the spread of COVID 19. By the middle of April, more than half of my conference speaking engagements were cancelled with the promise of, “next year if things get better.” After a month, every conference I was scheduled to speak at was cancelled.
       After brooding for a few weeks about the lousy turn of events, I decided that even if all the conferences I was planning to attend were not going to take place, I can still speak at book clubs and smaller family history meetings that were being held in people’s homes. With the help of Zoom, the online conferencing app, I can literally meet with groups in the open air of their back yards, in their homes or any place they feel safe from the coronavirus. The first Zoomed book club was a bit bumpy as we worked out a few technology bugs, but it wasn’t long before we had it down and things were going smoothly.
     On May 30th I attended (via Zoom) a full day Writer’s Marketing Conference given by well-known author Maria Murnane. I learned some excellent ways to reach out and get my book into the hands of the people I knew would like to read it.
     There is a lot of work for me to do now, but it’s great knowing that not even a worldwide pandemic can stop authors from getting their books seen by thousands of perspective readers who now have a lot more time to entertain themselves with what we write. I’m excited about the potential of what can be done. 
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                                                                                                                            Photo by Edwin Hooper
  

     A friend of mine sent me an article titled, “10 Awful Truths about Book Publishing” by Steven Piersanti. He suggested I might find it interesting since I was in the midst of marketing my own book, A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. This article was written in 2016 so the data is a few years old. However, given the nature of changes in the publishing world, I expect these statistics are still even more valid than ever. The article is enlightening and a must read for any author who is seriously thinking of becoming a published author.
Some of the statistics Piersanti shares include the following:

• The number of NEW books published each year in the U.S. has exploded to well over 1 million annually since 2007. At the same time, more than 13 million previously published books are still available through many sources. The marketplace is hugely over-saturated.
•  The U.S. publishing industry sales peaked in 2007 according to reports of the Association of American Publishers (AAP). Despite a 2.5% increase in 2015, U.S. bookstore sales are down 37% from their peak in 2007, according to the Census Bureau (Publishers Weekly, February 26, 2016). 
• The average U.S. nonfiction book is now selling less than 250 copies per year and less than 2,000 copies over its lifetime.
• For every available bookstore shelf space, there are 100 to 1,000 or more titles competing for that shelf space.
• People are reading only books that their communities make important or even mandatory to read. There is no general audience for most nonfiction books, and chasing after such a mirage is usually far less effective than connecting with one’s communities.
• Publishers stay afloat in this worsening marketplace only by shifting more and more marketing responsibility to authors. Publishers still fulfill important roles in helping craft books to succeed and making books available in sales channels, but whether the books move in those channels depends primarily on the authors.
• There is constant turmoil in book selling and publishing (such as the disappearance over the past decade of over 500 independent bookstores and the Borders bookstore chain). Translation: expect even more changes and challenges in coming months and years.

     What does all of this mean to established and new authors? It means that your #1 challenge will be to create a powerful, effective author’s platform, including a robust social media presence where readers can learn more about who you are and what you have to offer. To ignore this reality is to ensure the demise of your career as a successful author.
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     If you are interested in ordering a copy and knocking 30% off the retail price, take a look at the information below.
Order directly through Rowman & Littlefield at https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538127438/  for a 30% discount on A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. Use promotion code RLFANDF30 at checkout for 30% off – this promotion is valid until September 1st, 2020. This offer cannot be combined with any other promo or discount offers.

     I was recently invited to speak a local book club about my experience writing my book The Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. It’s one of 3 invitations I’ve received so far to come speak to book clubs in the valley. Apparently, word has spread and it seems to be the “choice of the month” for several clubs.
     I have to admit that I totally enjoyed doing a book club gig. Instead of standing in front of large groups as I have when speaking at several family history conferences, in the book club venue, you are seated right in among your audience. It’s so much more intimate and engaging.
     The club that I spoke with last week was made up of about 15 moms who get together once a month at 9pm. I asked them why the late start. The answer was obvious after they told me. By the time they get their families fed, help the kids with their homework and finally get everyone to bed, it’s getting late. By 9pm they are free to meet at someone’s home and discuss the book they read the previous month.
     When I arrived, they were all waiting for me. Everyone one of them had a smile on their face. I knew I was going to like this group. There was little in the way of introductions. It seems the ladies were more than ready to pepper me with questions. The conversations went on and on through the evening. It was wonderful. We laughed, we shared stories and we even had a few emotional moments.
     When things finally settled down we all realized that it was already 11:30pm. Where did the past 2 hours go? It honestly felt like we were there for no more than 45 minutes. In almost every case, speaking at a ladies book club is an amazing and delightful experience. By the time I leave I feel like I’m leaving a bunch of friends that I’ve known for years. With this last book club, as one of the ladies was leaving, she quietly mentioned to me that her husband found out that he was not his father’s son as his dad was baptizing him. The boy was only 8 years old at the time. His dad was baptizing him using his birth father’s last name, not the name he knew all his life. She said that it really traumatized the poor little guy. Can you believe that! It’s amazing to see what stories people are willing to share with you when they find out you have something in common with them. Amazing!

       OK, so that title may not be 100% accurate, but it’s pretty close. After finding out that my eight siblings and I were raised by a man who was not our biological father (BF), I wanted to know who my half-siblings were. Five of my eight brothers and sisters already knew who their half siblings were simply because they grew up knowing their BF’s family. My younger brother and I both share the same BF so that simplifies it even more. By the time my book, The Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets had been accepted by my publisher, I had not yet made an effort to find out who my half-siblings were. It would be another several months before I would begin that adventure.
   Getting in touch with a half-sibling can be a very delicate and emotional experience. But Tim and I wanted to know who our BF was and that would only happen by getting to know his birth children. I am interested in learning stories about my birth father and seeing photographs of him, his siblings and his parents.
       Over time, I was able to discover that Tim and I have 2 half-brothers and 2 half-sisters. I made contact with one of my half-sisters with hopes that she would be willing to speak with me. I knew this would be just as difficult for her as it was for me. With time, however, we got to know each other, first with text messages and emails and then by telephone. I won’t use her real name here. I will refer to her simply as "M". 
       M was so kind and sweet. She was amazing! Our first call lasted nearly an hour and a half. She promised that she would drive 4 hours to where her brothers and sister lived and share with them “good news” of the discovery of two new brothers. I was so excited to see how well this was turning out. I had great hopes that Tim and I could meet them all in person. But, I quickly learned that this wasn’t going to be, at least not in the foreseeable future..
       M did, indeed, meet with her brothers and sister. She told them all about Tim and me. I think that I am putting it mildly when I say that they were shocked and disgusted to learn that their father had done such a thing. They were mortified to think that they now have two “bastard” brothers who were conceived under such despicable conditions. I have no idea what kind of conversations went on between M and her siblings, but they made it clear that under no conditions did they want any part of us. We were not family and we would never be welcome into their family.
     I was devastated to hear this news. Thinking about it, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised by their reactions. Their father was a very religious man who, from what I have been able to learn, was the epidemy of a good father. The thought of their father being sexually involved with a married woman which resulted in the birth of not 1 but 2 children must surely have been more than they could handle. The fact that their father was single at the time this happened offered little comfort.
       I feel badly that my efforts to make a connection with my half-siblings has created such pain in their lives. But I knew I had to take a chance in hopes that something good might come out of this. M is still speaking with Tim and me and for that I am very grateful. She really is a very kind and wonderful woman. Maybe one day, one or more of the other three siblings might be willing to reach out to us and create a bridge that might allow us to cross into each other’s world. But until that time comes, I can only continue to work on strengthening our relationship with M and hope that the others will one day have a change of heart.

     You can imagine the confusion and the sense of disorientation that takes place when a person discovers that their father isn’t really their father. My own personal experience was compounded by the fact that my other 8 brothers and sisters were not conceived by the man who raised us as well. It really messes with your head in so many ways.
     People who go through the experience of discovering they aren’t who they grew up thinking they were go through a process very much like the classic grieving process that takes place with the death of a loved one. There is the denial & isolation stage, followed by an intense sense of anger that comes from a sense of betrayal. That stage is followed by a desperate attempt to bargain your way through the crisis. Once you realize that bargaining isn’t going to change things, you move to the next stage of intense depression. Finally, you reach a point where you come to a sense of acceptance. You may not like what life has given you but you know there is no joy in staying where you’ve been.
     Everyone moves through these 5 steps of grieving in a different way. Some get through them in a reasonable amount of time, while others may get stuck in one or more of these stages. Regardless of how fast or slow you get through the grieving process, it’s difficult to do it alone. You need to get help.
     Not long after my discovery, I found a website named NPE Friends Fellowship. The NPE stands for a Non Paternity Event or a Non Parental Event. An NEP event could result from any of the following:

• Conception by infidelity
• Conception through rape
• Adaption
• Accidental (or intentional) switching of a two babies at birth
• Kidnapping of a baby/child
• Giving a child away
• Abandonment

     This is a website that offers a place where people who have had an NPE event can talk with others who have gone through the same experience. This site vets each person who applies to join in order to keep the sensationalists and “looky loos” away from you during a time of healing. This group has been in operation for about 2 ½ years and has already gained a worldwide membership of 6,300 members.
     If you have had any kind of NPE event,  I would recommend you visit NPE Friends Fellowship and see how they can help you heal from the trauma of what you have experienced. You have nothing to lose but a lot of pain and confusion. 

    Last week, I had the great pleasure of being interviewed by Scott Fisher, the creator and owner of the radio and podcast show, Extreme Genes. I’ve gotten to know Scott after doing two previous interviews with him. When he found out about my family’s DNA story, he wanted to let his listeners in on what he thought was a fascinating story. Over the past four years, we’ve done 3 interviews. The interview we did today was episode 301 (Man Who Learned That His Dad Was Not Dad To Nine Kids Writes Book). I'm the third interivew on the podcast. 
     Scott Fisher invites people from all over to share their fascinating family history/genealogy stories with his audience. He’s got some fantastic stories of discovery, loss and exciting adventure from the folks he invited to come onto his show.  If you want to find his radio station that covers your area, click on this Find Us link.
      This will probably be the last interview we do about my several year journey of discovering my family’s real identity. But, I will definitely continue to listen to Scott Fisher's radio show. He gets some fascinating interviews that you're not going to want to miss.

     I’ve reached a very big milestone mark today and I want to share it with you. 
     Seven years ago, I wanted to learn the truth about some family stories I grew up hearing. I started by testing some DNA samples from my parents. I also sent my own sample with theirs to see if I could identify any markers for possible health issues.
     The report came back telling me that the man who raised me was not my biological father. As shocking as that was, it was only the beginning of an incredible journey that would take several years to unravel and eventually reveal my family’s real story; a story that was almost too shocking to believe. What I learned took our family story up another 10 levels of unbelievability to the “Lier, Lier, Pants on Fire” level. But trust me, every bit of this story is true.
     Over the next few years, I gathered and tested more than 20 separate DNA samples of family members. What I learned completely reinvented the makeup of my family of nine children. I literally opened up the family history version of Pandora’s Box and now, it can never be closed.
     I am now sharing this experience with others who have discovered their own surprises after having their DNA tested. Hopefully, by sharing our experiences, we can help each other deal with events we had no hand in creating, but may have a profound effect upon our lives and he lives of our future generations.  
     With the help of my great literary agent Veronica Park, I found a publishing company who made it possible for thousands to read about what DNA testing has the potential of exposing. It is now being produced in book format, as an e-book and in audio book format. It’s titled A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets.  Hold on to your seats because this is a story that is like nothing you have ever read before. If you are interested in ordering a copy and knocking 30% off the retail price, take a look at the information below.
     Order directly through Rowman & Littlefield at https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538127438/  for a 30% discount on A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. Use promotion code RLFANDF30 at checkout for 30% off – this promotion is valid until September 1st, 2020. This offer cannot be combined with any other promo or discount offers.
​    This book can also be ordered through Amazon.com. 

It’s official. I can now consider myself a published author, with a literary agent (Veronica Park of Fuse Literary), a reputable publishing company (Rowman & Littlefield) and a book that will actually appear in bookstores, on Amazon.com and any number of other shops and online outlets. The title is A Broken Tree: How DNA Exposed a Family’s Secrets. The official date for going live is October 8, 2019. It will appear as a hardcopy book, as well as in e-book and audio book format.
     It’s the dream of tens of thousands of aspiring writers to have their manuscript accepted by a respected publishing company. I am incredibly excited to be able to start my publishing experience with this book. But I’m also nervous. Why am I so nervous about getting this book published? Because I chose to write about my own family and expose some very deep secrets that have been buried for more than 7 decades.
     This book is a story of how the old family stories of my childhood were unearthed and reevaluated using DNA testing to discover the truth, exposing the real stories of our family’s past. What I originally thought was going to be a simple “look and see” experience eventually unraveled an incredible web of deceit and infidelity, resulting in a family of 9 children having to reach out to discover their true identities. It's about coming to terms with the events that stole their former identities away from them. This book is a real life detective story at its finest. It takes family history, genealogy and DNA research to a whole new level.  
    To learn more about this fascinating book and how you can get your copy, visit the Rowman & Littlefield homepage.